just no

Image of The Row collection

Image of The Row collection


That day, I had a meltdown…of sorts…there were tears, but not a full bawling situation. I was so stretched emotionally and when more expectations and obligations poured in while already being exhausted to the core, I felt like I was drowning. 

It’s hard to say no. It’s hard for people to accept “no” as an answer. Sure the kind of “no” that people can accept is “it’s work”. Somehow that seems to be the only reason that works…sometimes. But the SHOCK and HORROR if you said no because you had a date with yourself. the horror…

Fact is we can’t prioritise everything at the top, it’s ridiculous. And if one has an expectation to be on the top of someone’s list all the time, I would say that is pretty selfish and egoistical. Like life should revolve around that particular one priority that one puts on others.

Anyway, I’m sure a lot of you guys face with the difficulties of saying no too. That is why whenever I ask someone to do something or collaborate I always say, no pressure you can always say no and I won’t be in the least bit offended. Because you don’t owe me your time! It should be your joy or else why would I want to force unhappiness onto someone else??

But I think we or rather I am also scared of the repercussions of saying no. I got it really hard in my younger days when I would say no and then be ostracised and labelled as a non-team player because I didn’t want to meet every single waking moment with this group. They couldn’t take it and it was bad. But there will always be this out there. It’s either people get unhappy or I loose my sanity and forsake my gift to the world when I over commit myself. I do less good for anyone, myself included.

There’s an article that I read, when asked what was one business advice Mary Kate Olsen would give, she said, “No is a full sentence.” The twins actually recently said “NO” to going back to their TV show Full House! Of course, backlash followed by fellow Full House cast…haha. There’ll always be someone unhappy with your life’s decisions.

So…how to say no you ask? Ahh…good question. 
Here’s a short 5 minutes version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPG_5CKZjW4 and this is the full interview with Bob Burg on Marie Forleo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4tzs2dF0ek

"Thank you for asking, while it’s not something I’d like to do, please note how honoured I am to be asked.”
 

Related Articles
https://hbr.org/2013/11/learning-to-say-no-is-part-of-success
http://www.businessinsider.sg/this-is-how-successful-people-say-no-2014-8/#.VbmJUkKqqko
http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/233993
http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/219251